Posted in 365 journal, Permy Culture, ramBLING

Day 8: sometimes your plans just get trampled

Today I came home and saw that a security light had bin installed, but he struggled to get wore through a tube we installed under the driveway paving. Only problem is that the one end is in the roses area…

But let’s rewind back a coupla years…

When we built a second story, the builders dumped the excess white sand on the roses area – not very healthy. The roses never really recovered, but didn’t die yet…
Both my parents love roses, these ones aren’t that great – however these are from my belated grandfathers house. So I guess it’s a keepsake for both my mom and gran when she stays over.
After my father passed, I took on the role of garden maintenance. My previous job being advisor and then manual laborer…
My plan to rehabilitate the land around the roses was; add in compost to better the soil and interplant groundcovers followed by mulching the exposed land. Following advice from a French gardener Emelia herzap (something like that) I instructed everyone to not walk on the ground of that area. I went as far as abit o landscaping laying out a path and attempting a swale.
I was quite religious in the no-compacting the soil doctrine, until the last 2 weeks…

A worker waiting on my mom thought he couldn’t be idle and started tidying the garden, tilling the soil around the roses upturning some groundcovers. The whole point of not compacting the soil is to give the organisms a chance to multiply and build up the soil from the “ground up” – tilling destroys all that ( non hardwork ) work.
So today after the whole tilling fiasco, followed by the painting of the house ( where trod ding could not be avoided ) and now the electrician trampling the whole one side – side closest to the front door ( in the pic closest to the bottom) I’m now abit upset, not much ce la vie et al ( that )…

I’m prolly more upset that this is prolly a parable of how what looks like nothing much is actually the in between phase of a before and after. Lots of planning and replanning after considering current limited resources, that was prolly the best albeit most patient thing I can do…so now I’m hoping atleast the one groundcover will survive as the other was just about to but it’s def a goner…

Either way, you have to breath out when hit or the more common slogan; roll with the punches…
You can’t really blame them as the flip side is that had they known they would prolly caused less damage ( by atleast not walking on the damned plant! ) but damage none the same, maybe I was over zealous in my no compaction commandment.

One the reasons why I’m so fascinated by nature and mans manipulation there of is in the sheer dynamic ism of nature and it’s ability to cope is as miraculous as the human body’s ability to cope and adapt to the abuse we inflict upon ourselves be it physical or psychological.

Sometimes your plans just get trampled, why bother taking foot imprints, either build a fence structure or adapt the plans to the flow of the foot traffic…I’m always gonna take the easiest but more effective and efficient plan of attack.
The surface may look calm, but the underground is already on fire!!

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Posted in ramBLING

if i am going to Japan, i might as well go when the sakuras are in full bloom

more and more ive bin trying to get my life more organised.
once i had a plan, but that had to change due to circumstances beyond my control. i chalked it up to bad luck, maybe the universe telling me it was not the way…

so i treaded a different path, one with no real signposts.
maybe i get lost now and then, but if you dont know where you going…any road will take you there…

since then, well more recently i have rediscovered some of my goals – and i am currently working towards them. being more knowledgable i found that the main difficulty is financing that dream.
or rather, it was one multiple that is vieing for my time and money. money being the key factor, one of the resources that is currently sufficient atm, but more is needed to achieve the more grander goals – ideals that think would help more than just me, hopefully i touch along the way.

so the best way to plan towards them, is to organise my life better.

enter curveballs, 1, 2, and three…

i strike out more times than not, but each time im learning.
i guess its best to wait and look around for the most opportune time. im gathering my resources; material and knowledge base – and that leads me to more finely tune the plan.

i need to start…

so i have begun writing my thoughts, dnt let small anoyances knock me of my path.
rather take a moment and find solutions, they often turn out to be very basic – all that requires is a shift in thought processes.

currently the only thing i really need now is a phone with a very good camera, so that i can better document and have fun with my experiments, and life. not a neccesity, but it would greatly enhance the latter. a camera seems abit obtrusive and too much effort is needed to transfer and attach it to my thoughts, but im gonna try.

i have always bin abit of a problem solver, seeking alternative means and perhaps coming into money has made me more dependant on it.
although having abit more would happily speed things along…

i have discovered that even having the means has not sped up my plans drastically, overall i tend to think long and deep about my next few steps…which reminds me to properly learn the game of chess.

people have always assumed that my lacking material gain, meant i was lazy or lacking drive…
rather it was not what i deemed important, later on in life i could put it in words. i do not seek the eternal pursuit of happiness, rather being content was my aim.

dont get me wrong laziness is a quality of mine, one that i deemed positive – for it forces my actions to be effective in multiple areas, and my results are one of personal acceptance.
i have many plans and the bumps in the road causes me to change my driving style…

but i assure you, i am the one driving, it s just that now, i believe i should also be the navigator. if all roads lead to Rome, then surely the one i create with all its detours and turn-arounds, not very popular but probably the most fulfilling to me.

so now i am noting the sights i want to see, and the ones i have to come back later for.
if i am going to Japan, i might as well go when the sakuras are in full bloom

Posted in ramBLING

one can sm:)e in sadness

For my work I have to “sweep”; go from user to user and try to solve problems that they have encountered. Most of the time its simple pc issues such as “I can’t print” or “I can’t login any more”which actually means: “I forgot my login password”.
Can be very frustrating, but every now and then you find ways to amuse yourself. Like now, waiting over 40min for IT guy to the find the keys so we can help him move a cabinet – which is not our job but Boss said help him. You know; scratch my back… I guess because its government there’s a lot of politricks…

Anyway, so since we in a hospital their are certain sections that require us to “suit up”, me and ezo suited up only to find that the wing is closed off. Having special shoe covering we went old skewl – taking a hevi run up and then seeing for how long and. How far we can slide. Goes without saying slipping and falling would be a fail.

I guess in this environment it can be challenging as have to go everywhere and assess the computers. We end up in places with people in dire situations. Did I mention its a children’s hospital?

But we all human and feed off each others positivity, and by us smiling and amusing ourselves (at no-one’s expense) we hopefully add something to the environment – or is that my rationalization?

Either way, I find it weird sterilising our hands and watching a few minutes of the world cup rugby amoung doctors and nurses in the ICU. maybe that’s why I’m currently enjoying 9 seasons of scrubs with my daughter (but that’s another post).

I for one cannot wallow in self pity and prefer a more proactive approach, besides I choose life. Which is prolly why I could go and enjoy myself with old friends at a wedding, and then come home to a house packed with family to pray for my belated father. Where I have to look to them like I’m mourning – it sounds wrong somehow, but even though I do miss him…
I used to be someone that was always in my head, at night I use to replay events in my head and cringe at the stupid things I said or done. I’m a lot less like that, life keeps me more busy and atleast the insomniac episodes have subsided, at least for now…
So try not to dwell on the past too much and if I do – try to focus on the positive moments. There was so much I wanted to learn from him, hell, I’m still learning so much from him posthumously…
One thing though that most people have picked up, my dad had reached a stage in life where he was genuinely happy. His life was cut short, but was not short lived and I can sm;)e as I would want memories of me to bring joy and happiness to people…

Posted in ramBLING, wHOre

if today was perfect…

So today was one of those days where it prolly best to just lay in bed till tomorow.

Woke and realised I had to leave immediately to make it to work. So no breakfast and got stuck in traffic 5 min from my house!
I get to work within the acceptable late window only to realise I forgot my wallet at home, and my fone in the car wher it will be in plain site in a quiet neighbourhood!
The one and only task for the day turned out I had to be some ministers bitch for the morning – eh, kept me busy. Come back to the office and meet some colleagues outside within the 2mins we standing ther Boss come along commenting on how we doing vokol work having a “pregnant fathers mother meeting”. The rest of the day I sat in the office with nothing to do except google random things – when my mind goes blank on the sites a want to see…
2min from home I realise I have no petrol in the car and had to take the long way home in order to pass a garage…
Finally at home before I can put my feet up kick back and relax before supper I notice my nosy neighbour checking the side of my car. So I go to pull in, as I no longer have errands – only to find some one had knocked my car!

The whole days Bullshit with none of the lil things that make me 🙂
Some music to and from work – the radio plays nothing but sh1t. Lunch, and learning something new…

But biGger picture I’ve got much bigger, serious issues than a hungry tummy and life’s lil frustrations…
The day did get me down, but a lil breathing and a more zen outlook is what I took from that day. So everytime I look at that ding by my drivers side it will remind me to breathe and remind me that karma is a bitch that neva forgets so I will at least forgive and realise that “it’s just a ride” – in the immortal words of Bill Hicks.

Besides I heard somewhere that: if today was perfect, there would be no need for tommorow…

So, bitch session finish. All that tension released, and now positive vibes from here on (hopefully). And don’t forget to breathe…

Posted in ramBLING

New *mid* Years resolution

So it has bin awhile, and alot has happened…
Its the perfect opportunity to put those intangible thoughts in my head into, well, cyberspace? The same thought always crosses my mind, yeah its like putting ur phone number on a notice board for the whole world to see…but who even knows of this quaint place and more so – who evens cares??

So these random ramblings will be a form of graffiti doodlings that might liven up the beige wall and for some provide amusement or food for thought. I sense the insomnia returning and all the other excess chemicals are being slowly excreted… so lets see if the detox improves my worldly outlook or not.

one thing we live in interesting times and i have only recently begun to appreciate the mundane…

Posted in ramBLING

tech will neva beat above the neck

No matter how adv our tech becomes by us as a species, u will never fully the experience the beauty of the light from the ember nor the feeling one exp from looking SO into the fire.
Our best “inventions” are pale imitations to that which already exists in nature.

I feel the best trick man can do is guide and take adv of what nature has to offer while staying in the boundaries of what is acceptable.
I blame the religious and non-religious.

If the religious “believed” they would know that everything exists for them to use. If the instructions we were taught were not exactly clear, we should all watch and learn of which was created by perfection in perfection.

For those that need strict observation and theorising based on proper Science (a celebration of his bday evry 25th by unkown celebrators). One would of expected them to hav realised long ago to work with not against. – I don’t see any ppl living at Chernobyl.

I digress, u might say hey maybe that’s a shitty spec camera on ur ph. True, but once this was the height of tech, once.